1-800-HELP-PLZ-If you are Obsessive Compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
-If you are Co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
-If you have Multiple Personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
-If you are Paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
-If you are Delusional, press 7, your call will be transferred to the Mothership.
-If you are Schizophrenic, listen carefully, and a small voice will tell you which number to press.
-If you are Depressive, it doesn't matter which button you press. No one will answer anyway.
-If you are Dyslexic, press 96969696969696.
-If you have a Nervous Disorder, please fidget with the Pound Button until a representative comes on the line.
-If you have Amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's and grandmother's maiden names.
-If you have Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, slowly and carefully press 911.
-If you have Bi-Polar Disorder, please leave a message after the beep. Or before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
-If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All our representatives are busy.
-If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
Apprehensive
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the cup is always half full. especially when it contains alcohol.
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If all the world's a stage, I want to operate the trap door.
--Paul Beatty
Case for Creationism: We live on the film-thin transition layer between molten radioactive rock and hard vacuum, orbiting a gigantic fusion reactor.
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If all the world's a stage, I want to operate the trap door.
--Paul Beatty
Case for Creationism: We live on the film-thin transition layer between molten radioactive rock and hard vacuum, orbiting a gigantic fusion reactor.
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~Jozi~
~Nice eh? Cowboy!~
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If all the world's a stage, I want to operate the trap door.
--Paul Beatty
Case for Creationism: We live on the film-thin transition layer between molten radioactive rock and hard vacuum, orbiting a gigantic fusion reactor.
Hey, whats going on? 23/female.. come chat with me on this website CLICK HERE
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An essay is an attempt to explain something that could have been said in two sentences:
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The goals I hope to achieve on DeviantART:
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If all the world's a stage, I want to operate the trap door.
--Paul Beatty
Case for Creationism: We live on the film-thin transition layer between molten radioactive rock and hard vacuum, orbiting a gigantic fusion reactor.
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